I drank

21 May 2006 | Life | 1 Comment

I drank more sake than I should have last night. To be honest, I’ve been on a bit of a binge the past few days, consuming massive quantities of things I shouldn’t. Sugary sweets (two bags of Uncle Eddie’s Vegan Cookies, nearly a pound of dark chocolate covered espresso beans, chocolate covered ginger, vegan marshmellow fluff, etc), alcohol (the aforementioned sake, Johnnie Walker Red, the last of my Maker’s Mark, a Pabst Blue Ribbon), nicotine (a hookah last night at Samah). I feel used up, wasted, damaged today. I’ve got to stop doing this. Tomorrow I must eat well and be productive. I must cease wasting my time with nothing. I will clean, I will write, I will record some vocals. I realize my largest problem (and likely the cause of all my distraction and procrastination) is that I am a sensualist, an aesthete, a hedonist. I am too much in love with experience, with sensation and pleasure, with taste and smell and touch and sound.

That realization comes with the harsh doubt of its correctibility. I this something I can fix so that I may be able to focus easier and accomplish things? It is seeming less likely, but there is a great chance I am incorrect in that.

1 Comment

  1. Nathan said on 29 May 2006 at 10:43 pm:

    Seems to me that the thing you just outlined as your largest problem is also the likely impetus for wanting to do all the things that you stated it keeps you from doing.
    The heart that motivates and distracts.
    How to work with it… and still get things done? A ubiquitous question.

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