It’s been about 6 months since my last blog entry.
I know that writing more regularly would be good for my writing, and for self-reflection, and may even be a great way to connect with people and share my thoughts.
Since last post, I’ve gotten a diagnosis from a psychiatrist for ADHD. Along with that has come a prescription for Adderall XR. This is the first medication I’ve been prescribed for the ADHD, and I know for some it can take a lot of trial and error, and time, to find the right medication for them. So far I am feeling a lot of positive results from the Adderall. I’ve been able to stay focussed when starting tasks, less likely to procrastinate before starting, my thinking has been clearer and quicker, I’ve been able to more easily and readily communicate my thoughts… and this is just on day 7, starting with a half dose for that first week.
While the medication does help me with focus and avoiding procrastination, the thing it can’t help with is organization and task prioritization. That I need to work on myself, and develop and practice a successful process for. So far, I’ve found Trello to have been useful. I’ve created a “Self Improvement” project management board in Trello and used it to track my tasks, responsibilities, and opportunities. One of them which I’ve just added is writing in this blog on a regular basis, at least weekly.
And perhaps that will be enough, but we’ll see.
Old and new emotions
Today has brought about some new and unfamiliar feelings, as well as reminded me of old ones that are still there.
Steph – my girlfriend from my early twenties, just out of high school – posted some very old photos she had come across in a box, from about that time period. There was a fair amount of feeling nostalgic for the old days, and fondly thinking of the memories; but there was also the realization of how much love I still have for her, and that it will never go away. Which is a beautiful thing, I think.
I also experienced, for the first time, the feeling of “compersion”, a term you’re likely to hear in polyamory communities. It’s that feeling of love or joy or happiness that someone else has something special, or experienced something wonderful. It’s the opposite of envy or jealousy, perhaps. It was confusing to feel, and to be honest I hate the term, but it was… calming. Lifting. And perhaps made my love for the person even stronger.